Tragedy--where to look

I woke up this morning and was immediately burdened again after sleep with what transpired in Newtown, CT yesterday. I think of the families who lost a loved one...a precious child or an innocent adult. Their hearts have only just begun to ache as the reality of the loss sets in. I think of the children who survived who witnessed such a terrifying evil act of murder of innocence. The fear they have has only just begun to settle in over them. I think of the first responders....what they had to witness and deal with and how they're now just beginning to put the pieces together. BUT! It is not enough to "think" of them. It's not enough to keep them in our "thoughts" or to emptily say they're in our prayers. I must....we must....cry out to God for mercy and grace. He so richly provides it. I pray for God to bring comfort to the families. I pray that they will feel a closeness to Him and a peace from Him that is beyond any human explanation...He WILL do that! I pray for the precious children who survived that they will discover an everlasting Heavenly Father who is the ultimate protector. I pray for all the families that they will seek God in new ways like never before. The Light is there wanting to respond. Because of Jesus Christ, we have hope. This broken world is not all their is and not what He wants for us. In the Bible, the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are full of Jesus words about His redemption. That redemption most demonstrated through His death and resurrection. He has overcome death! In John 16:33 He says "In this world you will have trouble. but take heart! I have overcome the world." That is where peace and redemption and security lies. It lies with Him...in a personal relationship with Him. We can not look to government and politicians for the answers or the solution. This is not about weapons. This is about the condition of the heart. Broken. Shattered. Evil. Legislation/Regulation can't solve that. Only a loving God who longs for relationship with us through His Son Jesus can solve this. The answers aren't found in gun laws, the answers aren't found in legislation, or false security that a secular government will attempt to offer its citizens. The answers lie in a loving God who loves our broken world and sent His Son to redeem it. All we have to do is embrace Him. My prayer for these families in CT is that they'll do just that. I pray for the Godly men and women in their midst, that they'll come along side those hurting and minister to them. I pray for the first responders that they'll be able to put the pieces together to allow for closure for these families. But the real closure comes in Eternity. An Eternity promised by a loving and just God.

absent blogger

I just looked at my blog which I haven't done in ages and realized I haven't blogged in over a year. Clearly I can't call myself a blogger.
I do have things to share from time to time but I guess I mostly do it in limited characters as a Facebook status update. Something I have been asked to do a few times recently is speak to high school and college kids. I love doing that. I am grateful to the people that have mentored and shaped me and given me advice along the way. A turtle on a fence post does not get there by himself. That is me! So I hope to always be able to give insight where it is welcome.

Here are things I always try to share with the young minds:
I flunked algebra in hs, but still turned out OK.
intern. Intern. Intern.
Interning, is your chance to gain hands on experience and not be expected to know anything before you start. It is your chance to ask questions, make connections, and prove yourself. College isn't complete without it.
Study abroad (if you are able). I didn't and I regret it!
Be nice to everyone. You never know how your paths will cross in the future. Plus it is the right thing to do.
ladies, don't make your decisions in your 20's based on your hope to get married. Carpe diem and let it all just happen.
study hard but have fun.
Don't try to develop a 10 yr plan, if you do, you'll likely miss some awesome opportunities.
Work hard.
volunteer.
Study current events.
And again to the ladies, if you want to be taken seriously, dress seriously. Going out clothes don't double as work wear. Honestly.

That is all. Goodness know this young generation needs all the help they can get. The economic situation dictates that the odds are stacked against them. But it is also an opportunity to innovate and find a nitch. As Gov Sonny Perdue taught me "the cream always rises to the top."

true love.

articulate words. author unknown.


I am not a perfect girl, nor are you a perfect man
But we have found each other here inside this wild and crazy world
And somehow make a perfect match

You bring out the worst in me but it’s the side I need to see
And through the conflicts and the difference and damage done
We are strong and still are one

You will fail me, you will fail me again and again
And I will fail you, I will fail you again and again
But we will learn to love in spite of failure
Yes we will learn to love because of failure
And we will stay together

We are broken human fools, we are selfish, we are cruel
But there is hope for the exception to someday become the rule
Let it start with me, let it start with you

Memorial Day

Today we remember those who have paid the ultimate price for their country and for freedom. Generations of men have gone into battle and not come home. And our country is as great as it is today because of them. The bravery exhibited by those heroes and the ones who made it home is almost unfathomable to me as I sit in the airconditioning of my own home. I think of the Revolution, the Civil War, WWI and WWII, Korea and Vietnam and Gulf Storm. Those are in the past but yet the fight for freedom continues. Almost every day, we have heroes dying in battle in the desert on the other side of the world. They fight an enemy that isn't defined by a country's boundaries or defined by imperialism. Instead, they fight an enemy who seemingly does what they do in the name of god. That isn't my God. I believe whole heartedly that our heroes are doing important work and it will be seen for certain generations from now when we Lord willing no longer have to worry about islamic extremist thanks to these heroes.

To quote General Patton "I want you to remember, no bastard ever won a war dying for his country, you win a war by making the other bastard die for HIS country."

Finally I want to relay something very poignant.
Yesterday in church, the pastor played a video of Sullivan Ballou's letter to his wife during the Civil War knowing he might not make it home. The deep love he has for the Union and America and his love for his wife is incredible. I can only imagine how many times she read this letter for the rest of her life.

July 14, 1861
Camp Clark, Washington

My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days—perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more . . .

I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing—perfectly willing—to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt . . .

Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me—perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness . . .

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again . . .

Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later at the first Battle of Bull Run, July 21, 1861.

Born March 28, 1829 in Smithfield, R.I., Ballou was educated at Phillips Academy in Andover, Mass.; Brown University in Providence, R.I. and the National Law School in Ballston, N.Y. He was admitted to the Rhode Island Bar in 1853.

Ballou devoted his brief life to public service. He was elected in 1854 as clerk of the Rhode Island House of Representatives, later serving as its speaker.
He married Sarah Hart Shumway on October 15, 1855, and the following year saw the birth of their first child, Edgar. A second son, William, was born in 1859.
Ballou immediately entered the military in 1861 after the war broke out. He became judge advocate of the Rhode Island militia and was 32 at the time of his death at the first Battle of Bull Run on July 21, 1861.

When he died, his wife was 24. She later moved to New Jersey to live out her life with her son, William, and never re-married. She died at age 80 in 1917.
Sullivan and Sarah Ballou are buried next to each other at Swan Point Cemetery in Providence, RI. There are no known living descendants.

Ironically, Sullivan Ballou’s letter was never mailed. Although Sarah would receive other, decidedly more upbeat letters, dated after the now-famous letter from the battlefield, the letter in question would be found among Sullivan Ballou’s effects when Gov. William Sprague of Rhode Island traveled to Virginia to retrieve the remains of his state’s sons who had fallen in battle.

thoughts

My blog is a real bore and I'm totally to blame. I'm going to try to post at least a few times a month. I have really slacked on writing and I can say the same for my own personal journal. Apparently I don't have any thoughts to share..... I don't actually think that's true. I have lots of thoughts to share but sometimes they might not be appropriate for a public forum. And sometimes writing in my personal journal makes my thoughts and feelings more real and from time to time that can scare me so I avoid. Perhaps it is also that I think my life is fairly boring at this time, but alas, the grass is always greener.....
I have had a lot on my mind lately. Especially when I had the "thrill" of spending lots of time alone laid up at home because of an injury.
One of the things on my mind and heart is I'm trying to learn to live one day at a time and not worry about what may or may not happen in the future. I trust God that He's got it under control and I'm just trying to let Him guide my steps, all the while just living today like I feel He wants me to. Trying desperately not to compare myself to others and what is transpiring in their lives vs. what is or isn't transpiring in mine. Also I'm constantly battling on not being disappointed with unfulfilled dreams yet work not to give up on them OR cling to them unreasonably. God is telling a story. He is very good with stories.

kitchen stadium

I sound like a broken, but really, my consistency with blogging has been shameful. I've been thinking of topics lately and sometimes it takes me a while to feel I have anything to offer to cyber space. And I am expecting a submission from a special guest, but for now, here we go.

As I type, I am watching a show that I don't normally watch but the secret ingredient is Parmigiano Reggiano. Iron Chef America aka Kitchen Stadium!

I do love cheese. I love all cheeses, although some soft cheeses and even sometimes brie I don't really care for. But hard cheeses, semi hard and blues--I just love. The sad thing is, I am committed to losing weight and getting in better shape in 2010 and I gave up cheese because it is in fact "the devils food." It is delight, but soooo fattening.
I miss it.

Anyway, I am a good cook. I just don't do it a lot. Which means I'm probably not actually that good. I took four years of Foods in high school. My classes earned me a vocational seal on my college prep diploma....that makes me laugh. However, I did in fact learn all the basics and learned great principles. What is sad about that is the fact that I then went to UGA and didn't have to cook a meal for 3 years.....thanks to the delicious UGA Food Services and Barbara and Otis at the Tri Delta House aka the Delt.

So present day, here I am living alone for roughly 6 years and being a person who, generally speaking, doesn't like left overs (there are exceptions to that) I don't cook often.

I want to do more cooking. And I do want someone to cook for. I've got a ton of great cookbooks and inspiration. I just need to find the time and get with it. I want to practice for the future. Because surely one day I'll need to cook more often. There is a fear of failure.

I really enjoy baking. I do need to really pay attention to the measurements and instructions since I am a bit out of practice. Fish intimadates me. And I don't have a grill. I am good at various versions of baked chicken and sauces. Certainly know and am confident about doing vegetables in all sorts of ways. I need to get more inspired to do casseroles, but they just seem old school.

There are things I hope to per-fect that my mom and grandmothers cook(ed): roast beef (mimi), mac and cheese (gangi), chicken salad (gangi), Squash casserole (mimi), chicken and dumplings (mom), country fried steak (mom), cornbread (gangi and mom), and cowboy beans (mom). there's many more, but I can only think of those for now.

I also have fantastic neighbors who are amazing foodies and great cooks! they are teaching me so much. although I think secretly their goal is to make me fat. ;)

so all that rambling leads me to conclude with a simple salutation and in the words of Paula Deen "Best Dishes, from my kitchen to yours"

the last decade

wow, it's hard to believe it's been 10 years since I began my professional career and my hopskotch all along the east coast.
2000--kicked off the new year with friends at a party in DC. I was just about to begin a job with Congressman Nathan Deal in DC after having moved over from Bob Barr's office. In the summer of 2000, he promoted me to Legislative Assistant.
2002--I decided to return to the homeland--GA--with the hopes of working for Sonny Perdue, a long shot candidate for Governor. Well sure enough, he hired me and I got to help him win in the biggest gubernational upset in the country that year. Election Night 2002 was a highlight of my life and career. Sheer elation!
2003-2006--worked in Governor Perdue's office and took the plunge in 2004 to live alone. Haven't regretted ever living alone since then. I think I might like it too much!
2006--got the itch to the leave the Governor's office and was given a very unique opportunity to move to NYC and work at FOX NEWS. It was an amazing experience. Both personally and professionally. However, I learned quickly that working in TV full time was just not for me.
So, after 5 months, I returned to GA.
2007--after returning from NYC, I took 2 months off to take a breath and job hunt. Then along came Verizon with the perfect job.
2009--Verizon promoted me in January and began to commute back and forth from Atlanta to Tampa. In April, I moved to Tampa to a great house right near downtown. Adjusting to life in Florida has been slow going, but I really can't complain.
I do sometimes miss NYC, DC, and Atlanta and can't help but wonder where my journey will take me next.
Along my journey in the past decade, people have certainly come and go out of my life. Especially men. ;) But there are things that have remained steady. My pursuit of my relationship with Jesus, without Him I am nothing. The circumstances of the last ten years, have proved God's hand in my life and His faithfulness.
The closeness of my family, even across the miles, my parents have been such rocks in my life. My close girlfriends, many of which are former roommates and most I have now known for at least 10 years, still continue to be there for me and such a blessing in my life. I hope I have been a blessing to them as well.
So, as if I'm giving some sort of thank you speech, I'd like to acknowledge the following people for their influence and presence in my life.
Jesus, mom, dad, Sonny and Mary Perdue, Andy Stanley, Cam, Courtney, Carrie, Lauren, Monty, Kimberley, Kacy, Mitch, Mandy, my small groups, Kenneth, Molly, Robert, all my former chiefs of staff, Maria, Bob. I could probably go on, but that's all for now.
I'm excited about the next 10 years and what God has in store. I have learned in the past 10 years to not try to predict what's next. Only God knows.